THANKS BLOG, BYE BLOG

Hi! I know, school is coming to an end and it is so unfortunate that I won’t be able to post to this blog very much longer. I only have two more blog posts that are required, and this is one of them. So, I’m going to continue on with the post and reflect on the questions asked. 

The first question asked is where were you when you started your blogging journey. Well, it was the beginning of my first year of high school... in a middle school. Yeah, I was still in the same school that I was in last year, but I was still slightly terrified. I mean, everything was starting to “count”, like grades. I was also a straight A student in the past, so I wasn’t too worried about my grades. But let me tell you, eighth grade did not prepare me for ninth. 

Unlike a lot of people, I was actually pretty excited to make a blog, but I did not expect it to be so time consuming. Just writing three five-hundred words posts every quarter was pretty difficult for me. I had nothing to write about. I mean, I’m just this regular teenage girl who is just trying to get through the first year of high school without messing up. At the beginning of my blogging journey I would just write a bunch of dumb posts so I could get a good grade.

Although, I wouldn’t say that I’ve changed or really grown in a result of blogging. There’s a bunch of stuff I wanted to write about, but some of it was super personal and I wasn't comfortable putting it onto a public blog, or heavens for sake having my English teacher read it, no offense Mr. Parker. But, I think that I have become more open and thoughtful about what I put onto the Internet. I talked about stuff that mattered to me (most of the time). Actually, scratch that, I only talked about me and I guess I matter to myself. Ugh I can’t do words. 

Hmmm… how else have a changed because of this blog? I’ve become more aware about what is important to me and what I spend my time writing about. I also think that I have learned how to manage my time a bit better. I know this sounds super weird, like uh, how do you learn how to manage time from a high school blog? Well, I learned to not leave my work until the last minute because trust me, I’ve tried and it’s really hard to write three five-hundred word blog posts the night before they’re due.

Actually me. 

Photo Courtesy: Voices of Youth

And finally, now I talk about where I am today. As of right now I am in computer technology, but I know that’s not what this question means. Right now I’m doing alright, and honestly, I’m kind of sad I don’t have the responsibility of running a blog, I mean I could in my own time, but I know that I would never keep up with it.

In conclusion, this blog was a pain in the butt but I mean, it gave me my own personal space to write about what I want and kind of just talk about stuff, you know? So, thanks blog, you made me actually think. Also, I want to give a thanks to all of my readers. Thanks for reading my posts :)

RAIN, RAIN GO AWAY

My life and how I view it has changed dramatically since I started horseback riding. I know, I know, how cheesy can I be? Well, actually, I’m pretty cheesy, and I only talk about horses, so that’s a fact. Anyway, someone asked me what the best year of my life has been. I’m only fourteen so I haven’t experienced much, so I didn’t really know what to say. After some deliberation, I finally said 2015. There were definitely a lot of downs in that year, but the good things that happened greatly over powered the bad. They asked me why, and I said because in that year I realized I actually had dreams and aspirations, things I wanted to do and things I was going to do.

The way I view many things in life has changed in just a year. I used to say that I loved rain. I loved the sound it made when it landed on the car windshield, or how it made the mountains in my backyard look reborn. But now, I freaking hate rain. Honestly it just makes horseback riding a pain in the butt. Mud is everywhere, it gets on you it gets all over your horse (or in my instance all over my pony) and it’s just so annoying. 

Next, whenever I got paid for babysitting the parents would always ask what I’d use the money for, I never knew. I’d just say that I was saving for something. Then, they would ask what I was saving for and I would always just say and laptop or something. I swear to God if I had bought a $1,000 laptop I probably would have shot myself. Now that horses are in the picture, I need every cent I can get. I know I don’t have my own horse right now, but I eventually plan on having one and taking care of a one ton animal is pretty dang expensive and I can tell you right now that my parents aren’t going to pay for much of it. I actually love having stuff to save for, or buying things I actually need. 

I have also realized that I need to live my life to the fullest and not be afraid. Horseback riding is one of the most dangerous sports out there and there’s no denying it. In 2016 alone, I have heard of five people dying from horseback riding. On last Friday, April 29, nineteen year old Caitlyn Fischer died on a cross-country course after her horse fell on top of her. Also, Olivia Inglis, who was only seventeen also died this year on a cross-country course after her horse tripped over a jump and landed on top of her. 

Although these events are absolutely devastating and I cannot begin to imagine what these families and friends are going through, I cannot be scared to ride. I know the risk that comes with this sport and let me tell you, if I ever die from riding, don’t cry for me, because I died doing what I loved. 

In all, horseback riding has made me realize a lot of things, it has shaped me into the person I am today I cannot be more thankful. 

This is me and the pony I ride (Sheik) and I love him to pieces.

Picture Credit: Ashtyn Drechsel

DID SPRING BREAK EVEN HAPPEN?

I need more posts so I’m going to write about what I did over spring break. So yeah, also sorry this is super delayed but it’s fine not a lot happens in my life so I don’t really know what else to write about, so I hope you enjoy anyway :-) Spring break was April 4-8, and I went to Mesquite, Nevada. When I told people that I was going to Mesquite, almost all of them didn’t know where that was, I just told them it’s around an hour from Las Vegas.

We, as in mom, little sister, my mom’s friend Susan and her daughter Molly started out by driving to St. George, Utah. The hotel we stayed in was actually the worst. The so called pool had nails and glass at the bottom, when you sat on the pool chairs, they fell apart, the rooms smelled like cigarette smoke and mildew and there there were stains on the sheets, from who knows what…. yikes. But, luckily, we went to Mesquite the next day. 

We stayed in probably the most famous and only hotel in Mesquite called the Casa Blanca. We stayed at the Casa Blanca for three days and four nights. Let me just say, we never left the hotel until we left to go home back to Park City. Some people may be confused by this, because you’re just supposed to have a hotel to come back and sleep in, and what about food? Well, the Casa Blanca is hella fancy and they have an entire restaurant in the hotel that serves literally anything you want. I ate breakfast for every meal during those few days. Let me just say, it was the best thing ever. I went from a breakfast sandwich to some Belgium waffles. Basically heaven.  

You may be wondering, well, what are you supposed to do at a hotel? That’s where the freaking amazing pool comes in. All of us just sat out at the pool or swam around in the huge pool for the whole day, and I mean the entire day. We were at the pool from around ten in the morning until five in the afternoon. 

This is the front of the hotel and it doesn't look as majestic as it does in real life, I found a lot of better pictures but they weren't good quality :'( 

Photo Courtesy: Las Vegas Golf Resort

It was so relaxing to not think about school or worry about making sure my dogs are let out and feed. I had no responsibilities and it was just so, so, so nice. I think it’s important for people to take breaks from “life” like this. It benefits your mental health for sure, but maybe not your physical but that’s okay! 

Anyway, there is a giant casino all over the first floor of the hotel. And I actually got sick from the smoke that came off the cigarettes that all of these people were smoking. Ew, another PSA, please don’t smoke, it ruins your health, makes your pearly whites turn not so pearly, and is just plain gross. 

Well, that was my spring break in 500 words. Lets just say I want to go back because it was the bomb.com.

I LOVE EDUCATION!

Okay, I want to learn. I mean, I don’t know about you, but I actually love to put new knowledge into my brain. I love spitting out random facts about how to cure a brain freeze, or that calico cats can only be female. What I don’t like learning is information that is crammed into my brain because we have to “know” it by the end of the year because the information is on the core test. This just isn’t fair, and this isn’t how we should be learning. 

If you didn’t already notice, I put quotation marks around the word know in the paragraph above. Learning something and knowing something are completely different things. I mean yeah, I have learned how to make a square inside a circle in math but I honestly still don’t know how to do it. Don’t get me wrong, obviously most of the stuff I know is because I learned it, but some stuff you just know, you know? For example, for me, I know that I hate tomatoes, the taste, the texture, everything, I just hate them. The thing is, I never learned to hate tomatoes, I just know because of my senses. 

I saw this picture on Google images and it really reminded me of what I was trying to talk about, but it made more sense worded this way.

Picture Credits: The Quotepedia

Okay, now I should probably get back on the subject. School sucks. Period end of story. Everyone hates it, or at least hates aspects of it. Common core and standards have ruined school for me, and I mean, I’m not a teacher, but I bet that they agree. Teachers have stuff that they want to teach their students about, but stupid standards and people they don’t even know control what comes out of their mouth. Oh you want to learn more about genetics, well sorry, we don’t have time, or, well that’s not in our curriculum, or we’ve already learned enough of that. 

Knowledge is important. It gets you down the hall to your next class, or back to your house. If you didn’t have knowledge, you would be screwed in life. Basically, I should be going to school and learning stuff that actually matters and will actually help me in life. Not some crap about mitosis and meiosis, and I don’t even know what that stuff is. This could be another problem, school just isn’t fit to everyones needs, and I wish I could think of a way to change this, but I can’t.  

I kind of get off on a lot of tangents so I’m terribly sorry if none of this makes any sense, but I needed a blog post so I just kind of typed my heart out. But, in all, there are a lot of flaws in the education system. Some are harder to change than others, but I believe that  we should focus on what can be changed. Things like how many standardized tests we take, or how much of something we learn. Well, I hope this post made some sense, I mean I tried to turn my thoughts into words but it’s pretty hard to do. Maybe school should teach me how to to my thoughts into words instead?

I LOVE HORSES TOO MUCH!!!

This is going to be a blog post about myself and for me. Also, here’s just a warning, it’s about horses and honestly I’m kind of sick of people telling me I’m a weird horse girl or whatever. Like hey, come on, I don’t make fun of your sport or what you’re passionate about. Anyways, this is not what this blog post is about.

Around June of last year I started horseback riding seriously and even went to a competition. (It was just a schooling show and I got 5th twice and 3rd once) yeah that’s not great but it was my first horse show and I hadn’t been riding very long before it. 

I started riding a horse named Sheik, and I absolutely hated riding him… I looked for different horses to ride, I refused to enjoy riding him, I gave up, and I was stupid. We (my trainer and some other horse friends) moved some of my trainers horses out to a barn that is a forty five minute drive from my house, the reason being we don’t have an indoor riding area that we can use during the winter. 

At first the only reason I was leasing Sheik was not because I loved him but because I wanted to ride with my friends in the winter and I didn’t want to be behind and in horseback riding, you are constantly improving and taking a break over a few months can be… pretty bad.

Now, Sheik and I are buds and we are both improving so, so, so much. I look at videos of me from last summer and I am absolutely astonished at how well I’m doing. I’m so excited to start eventing this year, hopefully I’ll do at least one beginner novice event (show jumping jumps are set at 2’6 and the cross country brush goes up to 3’0). Although, I’ll probably do mostly either intro or pre-beginner novice.

I have improved so much and I’m so proud of myself. Being an equestrian is hard, and also being a soccer player or a hocker player. Every single sport is hard and the thing that is my favorite about my sport is that I can keep improving, I can improve until I’m thirty or one hundred. I have so many dreams and goals and I cannot wait to see what my future holds, whether I become a vet, like I want to be right now, or a grand prix or rolex rider, who knows? 

In all, I write, talk and breathe horse. And I’m sorry if it’s the most annoying thing in the world but I can’t really help it because I love riding so much and I would never give it up for anything!! Please, please, please find something that you love and you can’t stop talking about, whether that is a person, hobby, book, movie, sport, anything, if you love it, do it. Also, talk about it, who gives a shit about what anyone else thinks! (You can always bother me about it, because I am always willing to listen <3) 

Here's a little video I made of me jumping, yes I don't look my best but that's the whole point of learning and improving right? (Also so sorry about the horrible quality)

Video Credits: Arielle Smith

IT'S A FREAKING SPORT!

Lets talk horse. Now, I’ve wanted to make a blog post about horseback riding for a long time now, but I never knew what to really talk about. But, today, I have some stuff to talk about.

When I tell people that I’m an equestrian, most of them either say “I used to ride but it got too expensive.” or “Horseback riding isn’t a sport, all you do is sit on the horse and the horse does all of the work.” I cannot begin to tell you how angry this makes me. How would you like it if I told you that your sport is stupid and it takes no athletic ability and anyone can do it? Yeah, I don’t think you’d like that very much. 

Horseback riding is the most amazing sport in the entire world, in my opinion. Can you say that you trust a 1,000 pound animal with a brain of it’s own with your life. Every single time I ride I have to trust the horse I’m riding with my life. One little fall and I could be completely crushed and be paralyzed or even dead. I also ask you, have you ever fallen seven feet from a 35 mph machine… I’m going to guess not. I have fallen around seven times (yes I keep count). Another question, have you ever had a teammate five times your size? That's right, no.

Horseback riding is something that you can’t just give up, especially if you own a horse. Horseback riding a life sport, I don’t think anyone can say the same for soccer, football, or basketball. There are people that are 50 years old competing at Grand Prix jumper levels. (These jumps are set at around 5 feet 3 inches tall, that’s taller than me.)

Horses aren’t just tools you use for a sport either, they become your best friend, they become more than just a teammate. I hear a lot of people say how they hate the sport they do, they only do it because their parents force them to, or because they’re too far into it and it’s too late to change their mind. I’m so happy that I’m an equestrian, becoming one was the best decision of my entire life. And I hope who ever is reading this can say the same thing about something they are passionate about. 

Horseback riding also takes so much patience, and I mean so much. You don’t only have yourself to improve but you have to improve your horse as well. Horseback riding is probably the sport that takes the most responsibility. You are responsible for the horse that you are riding. No matter if you own the horse, lease the horse, or just lesson on the horse, taking care of the horse is your number one priority, because it's a living animal, not a rubber soccer ball. 

One more thing, horse back riding is expensive, and no I’m not a spoiled little girl who’s parents buy her everything. I work three days a week to pay for my horse back riding, I help to contribute in every way possible because horseback riding is my passion and my love, and I would do anything for it.

In all, horse back riding is hella cool, but also hella dangerous, so please, before you make a rude remark about my passion, please think back to what we, equestrians, have to do. Thank you and go ride a horse.

And this is a bad cross country fall...

Photo Courtesy: Wikipedia

I WANNA GET BETTER

Yo I’m gonna talk about some pretty deep stuff. I’m just warning you now... but this has been on my mind for awhile now… and I mean awhile. 

I’ve had anxiety my entire life. And I don’t mean I get a little stressed here and there, but I’m constantly feeling like my chest is going to explode with stress and also that I'm at the end of a cliff looking down hundreds of feet. I’ve never been clinically diagnosed with anxiety, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

Since I was a kid, I would always be a back seat driver, telling my mom that there was a car up ahead, or that the stop light was about to turn red. I’ve never gotten over this by the way, and I apologize in advance. Panic attacks rule my world, they come out of no where, I can’t breathe or think, I just want to curl up into a ball in my safe spot and hide away from everyone. Basically, anxiety sucks. It feels like you’re stuck in a box filling with water, and you can't get out. 

I’m fourteen and I can still barely text my horseback riding trainer, people I work for, or even my own family members. I absolutely can’t talk to anyone on the phone unless it’s my mom, dad, or best friend, Ashtyn.  People would (and still will) always call me ridiculous or a child, for not being able to talk to someone on the phone. It petrifies me. I know it sounds like a silly fear, but it makes me feel makes me want to freaking vomit. My breathing quickens, and my chest hurts. I can also barely order food. It takes everything in my power to do so. Overthinking everything is my specialty, people tell me that I’m over dramatic. 

I’m tired of this stupid thing my brain does to me. I'm just really tired.

I’m trying really hard to be less scared. Less worried about what other people will think. If you know me personally, you would know that once I get to know you, I’m a pretty crazy, weird (as I’m told a lot and I understand I am but it’s a lot better than being a boring person who isn’t remotely funny at all) extraverted person. But, if I don’t know you, please don’t call me a pessimist, or call me out for never talking, or please excuse my french, call me a bitch. (Yes, that has actually happened), and also, please don’t pick on me last in class just because I “don’t try as hard in games”. I try as hard as I can and I’m sorry that I didn’t get your dang team a point so you can get a freaking bag of tropical skittles. It’s not cool, and it actually makes me feel really bad about myself, but, it shouldn’t.

Another thing, please, please, please never tell anyone who has anxiety or any other mental health issue things like, “Just relax!” or, “It’s all in your head.” or, “Stop being so dramatic.” Those few words can make make someone 10% more stressed out, make them feel even worse than they already feel, and plainly just want to rip their hair out because you're so arrogant. 

In all, I honestly don’t know what this blog post is about, but I just wanted to rant. So take this internet. Now to anyone reading this, it took a lot for me to write these personal things down in a public blog post so please be a kind fellow and don’t bring it up to me or I may become so embarrassed I’ll die.

Here's a good representation about how anxiety feels for all of my visual readers.

Photo Courtesy: The Mighty