CAN YOU NOT

HEY, I’M GONNA RANT… about fashion. 

*I am not trying to offend anyone in any way. If you do these things, good for you! These are just my personal opinions on things that I don’t think look very good.*

Now, carry on…

Okay, even though it might not seem like it, I really like fashion. Yeah, I don’t tend to keep up with the trends. Yeah, when I come to school I look like a black garbage bag. Yeah, I don’t own a Louis Vuitton handbag. But nonetheless, I still enjoy looking nice (sometimes), and also complaining about other people’s horrible fashion choices. 

The first topic I will be talking about are “man buns”. They look good if they’re messy and quickly put up, but if your hair is perfectly styled into a man bun, no, just no. It looks like a hairy thumb was glued to the back of your bald eagle shaped head. Fortunately, I don’t see many people in my school wearing these. I personally think it would be weird if a thirteen year old boy wore one to school, but that’s just me.

Yikes. Yikes. YIKES.

Photo Courtesy: Ecosalon

Thanks random guy for not looking terrible :)

Photo courtesy: Pinterest

Next, patterned leggings… why, just why? Why would ever do that to your poor legs? They are not cute. They can’t match anything, nothing, nothing on the face of this planet would match your “tribal print” leggings from Forever21. Also, no pattern in the universe would look good on cheap fabric from China. Yikes, just yikes… that’s all I have to say. 

Fringe! Oh fringe… I’m sorry but I don’t want to see your little pieces of cloth flowing in the wind when you walk by me. And for bags with fringe, it looks like you decided to carry around some colorful spaghetti and then it all fell out onto your little purse from Justice. Please just do yourself a favor and spare yourself from public humiliation.

Denim on denim on denim on can you not. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen people where a denim jacket on top of a pair of blue jeans and almost cried. It’s so ugly!! Like, is it that hard to wear a different fabricated jacket. Ugh, first world problems. But, it’s even worse if the denim is the same color, like are you purposely trying to blend into a denim factory? 

Now, shoulder pads. Do you want to look like a drummer in marching band? And no offense to marching band people, shoulder pads are fine in uniform, but if you chose to wear them, just ummm… The 80’s were almost thirty years ago, and don’t get me wrong, I love the 80’s, but shoulder pads need to die. D. I. E., not DIY. I’ve seen DIY shoulder pads on YouTube, what has this world come to? We need help…

And lastly, animal prints. ANY ANIMAL PRINT, ANYWHERE. I don’t care if the print is in the inside of your shoe, when you take that shoe off, everyone and their mother will see it. And do say, “Well why would you look in someone’s shoe?” Honey, you can see that bright pink cheetah print from a mile away. I’ve seen horse halters that are in zebra print. Now, that’s just cruel. 

I should probably stop before I get even more worked up, it’s not good for my mental health. Well, I hope you think about these fashion yikes before you put on on your fringed, patterned leggings.