IT'S A FREAKING SPORT!

Lets talk horse. Now, I’ve wanted to make a blog post about horseback riding for a long time now, but I never knew what to really talk about. But, today, I have some stuff to talk about.

When I tell people that I’m an equestrian, most of them either say “I used to ride but it got too expensive.” or “Horseback riding isn’t a sport, all you do is sit on the horse and the horse does all of the work.” I cannot begin to tell you how angry this makes me. How would you like it if I told you that your sport is stupid and it takes no athletic ability and anyone can do it? Yeah, I don’t think you’d like that very much. 

Horseback riding is the most amazing sport in the entire world, in my opinion. Can you say that you trust a 1,000 pound animal with a brain of it’s own with your life. Every single time I ride I have to trust the horse I’m riding with my life. One little fall and I could be completely crushed and be paralyzed or even dead. I also ask you, have you ever fallen seven feet from a 35 mph machine… I’m going to guess not. I have fallen around seven times (yes I keep count). Another question, have you ever had a teammate five times your size? That's right, no.

Horseback riding is something that you can’t just give up, especially if you own a horse. Horseback riding a life sport, I don’t think anyone can say the same for soccer, football, or basketball. There are people that are 50 years old competing at Grand Prix jumper levels. (These jumps are set at around 5 feet 3 inches tall, that’s taller than me.)

Horses aren’t just tools you use for a sport either, they become your best friend, they become more than just a teammate. I hear a lot of people say how they hate the sport they do, they only do it because their parents force them to, or because they’re too far into it and it’s too late to change their mind. I’m so happy that I’m an equestrian, becoming one was the best decision of my entire life. And I hope who ever is reading this can say the same thing about something they are passionate about. 

Horseback riding also takes so much patience, and I mean so much. You don’t only have yourself to improve but you have to improve your horse as well. Horseback riding is probably the sport that takes the most responsibility. You are responsible for the horse that you are riding. No matter if you own the horse, lease the horse, or just lesson on the horse, taking care of the horse is your number one priority, because it's a living animal, not a rubber soccer ball. 

One more thing, horse back riding is expensive, and no I’m not a spoiled little girl who’s parents buy her everything. I work three days a week to pay for my horse back riding, I help to contribute in every way possible because horseback riding is my passion and my love, and I would do anything for it.

In all, horse back riding is hella cool, but also hella dangerous, so please, before you make a rude remark about my passion, please think back to what we, equestrians, have to do. Thank you and go ride a horse.

And this is a bad cross country fall...

Photo Courtesy: Wikipedia

I WANNA GET BETTER

Yo I’m gonna talk about some pretty deep stuff. I’m just warning you now... but this has been on my mind for awhile now… and I mean awhile. 

I’ve had anxiety my entire life. And I don’t mean I get a little stressed here and there, but I’m constantly feeling like my chest is going to explode with stress and also that I'm at the end of a cliff looking down hundreds of feet. I’ve never been clinically diagnosed with anxiety, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

Since I was a kid, I would always be a back seat driver, telling my mom that there was a car up ahead, or that the stop light was about to turn red. I’ve never gotten over this by the way, and I apologize in advance. Panic attacks rule my world, they come out of no where, I can’t breathe or think, I just want to curl up into a ball in my safe spot and hide away from everyone. Basically, anxiety sucks. It feels like you’re stuck in a box filling with water, and you can't get out. 

I’m fourteen and I can still barely text my horseback riding trainer, people I work for, or even my own family members. I absolutely can’t talk to anyone on the phone unless it’s my mom, dad, or best friend, Ashtyn.  People would (and still will) always call me ridiculous or a child, for not being able to talk to someone on the phone. It petrifies me. I know it sounds like a silly fear, but it makes me feel makes me want to freaking vomit. My breathing quickens, and my chest hurts. I can also barely order food. It takes everything in my power to do so. Overthinking everything is my specialty, people tell me that I’m over dramatic. 

I’m tired of this stupid thing my brain does to me. I'm just really tired.

I’m trying really hard to be less scared. Less worried about what other people will think. If you know me personally, you would know that once I get to know you, I’m a pretty crazy, weird (as I’m told a lot and I understand I am but it’s a lot better than being a boring person who isn’t remotely funny at all) extraverted person. But, if I don’t know you, please don’t call me a pessimist, or call me out for never talking, or please excuse my french, call me a bitch. (Yes, that has actually happened), and also, please don’t pick on me last in class just because I “don’t try as hard in games”. I try as hard as I can and I’m sorry that I didn’t get your dang team a point so you can get a freaking bag of tropical skittles. It’s not cool, and it actually makes me feel really bad about myself, but, it shouldn’t.

Another thing, please, please, please never tell anyone who has anxiety or any other mental health issue things like, “Just relax!” or, “It’s all in your head.” or, “Stop being so dramatic.” Those few words can make make someone 10% more stressed out, make them feel even worse than they already feel, and plainly just want to rip their hair out because you're so arrogant. 

In all, I honestly don’t know what this blog post is about, but I just wanted to rant. So take this internet. Now to anyone reading this, it took a lot for me to write these personal things down in a public blog post so please be a kind fellow and don’t bring it up to me or I may become so embarrassed I’ll die.

Here's a good representation about how anxiety feels for all of my visual readers.

Photo Courtesy: The Mighty